I have discovered the world's first best hangover cure! In the afternoon, wake up and drink two cups of Amazing Hangover Juice:
1 bunch parsley
2 celery stalks
small knob of ginger
1/2 small sweet potato
Juice it all up. Then drink.
Then you must go run 2 miles. Bundle up if it's cold! Cover your ears! If it is hot, wear a tank top.
When you get home, take a hot bath. Then bundle up in your robe and watch teevee for 43 minutes.
Brush your teeth and then rinse with equal parts hydrogen peroxide and water.
Put on your favorite outfit. If it's dirty, spray with organic vegan air freshener.
Now you are ready to drink again! Start off slow. Drink a light vodka cocktail or a natural light beer. If you are following the raw food diet, you may have organic vegan white wine.
Wait fifteen minutes and drink another. At this point, if you are not feeling buzzed, drink another.
You may still feel like hell and claim that you are never drinking again but don't fall for it! You are totally going to drink again! Accept it and move on, pussy! You need to get over your hangover right now!