Monday, February 11, 2008

I watch tv so you don't have to

Lo! I am Magellan of the internet! I have discovered how to watch network tv series for free with out the inconvenience of having to order them from Netflix!

Promotional Placement!

However, watching tv online presents different inconveniences. Much like watching live tv, there are tons of redundant commercials for things I can't afford anyway . Usually, this doesn't bother me that much. I know I can't afford anything of value. I have a commission based job--that's how I got my fucking vacuum cleaner and ice cream maker. It's a good thing I don't have money because I would totally blow it on stupid stuff anyway.

Back to TeeVee:

The other problem I have with watching teevee online is that every time the video feed stalls out, I have to turn the laptop off and rub it on my sweater.

While that usually gets it working again, some websites were created better than others. NBC, for instance, is probably the bestest. You can watch "30 Rock" and "Heroes" episodes without much interference. Although the commercials are annoying, the video feed never stalls out. And you have the option to make the screen full size. If one places their computer on an ottoman (automon?) near the bed while one watches teevee, one might never have to leave the bed for days. Not that one would ever waste their weekend doing that.

The next bestest is ABC. While they also have a nice full screen option, their commercials are more intrusive and arbitrary. However, they're just fine. You should go watch every episode of "Lost" ever and then post your theories about it.

FOX does not have a nice full screen option, but their shows play with little interference. They also have fun shows like "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles", "Family Guy", and "The Simpsons" that you can watch by yourself. If you attempt to watch "Prison Break" or "House" you might need a roommate.

CBS is the worstest. Not only is their teevee site hard to navigate, but they don't even offer a full screen option. And once you start playing old episodes of "Jericho", it stalls out. This happened once every twenty-seven seconds. I was getting into some country groove montage and then it would stop! It took forever to reboot my laptop while I cleaned it off with my shirt!

And it still wouldn't work!

So CBS can wash my britches! I'll keep watching teevee on all the other sites. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll finally buy a watch!

2 comments:

So Buttons said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
So Buttons said...

Red Lobster. Total lolz. Your linking prowess is dizzying. Linky-linky-loo! Linking is alive.
www.bobanddavid.com/
(Except in the comments section of your bolg, dickmouth. BOLG. Click 'Look and learn' and make like you did it cause it was a hyper-rad hot teal deep-link superstorm. Lincoln-Lincoln-Loo!)
Also, yeah. You get it. NBC that FNL. DO IT. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Margaret.